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11 Reasons Why It’s So Important to Trust Your Employees!

Written by Gabriel "Gabo" von Knorring in Build Trust On Your Team

In my time as an officer and a leadership development expert, I have seen a lot of leaders who do not understand the value of trust. Most say that they do, but what I see is a lack of a deeper understanding of why?

The main reasons why it’s so important to trust your employees are improved team morale, cost savings, better collaboration, increased productivity, and improved decision-making. Trusting your employees allows the leader to focus on KPIs instead of micromanagement.

Trust is often defined as the anticipation that another person’s behavior will also benefit me. This reciprocity means that instead of wasting time at work, it becomes a matter of investing my time at work to get something back.

So let’s have a look at why it actually benefits you as a leader to trust your employees!

1. Improved Morale

It is not so important that you trust your employees but rather that you do not distrust them. This might sound like an insignificant difference, but we all know how it is to work for someone who we feel does not trust us.

When we feel that our superiors do not trust us, we need to justify our actions rather than do what we believe is correct and best to achieve the goals.

It is also true that when we work with people who don’t trust us, we sometimes feel like we don’t have to care about the work we’re doing.

But when we trust the people around us, and we know they trust us, we will feel more engaged with the task and willing to go the extra mile necessary to reach excellent results instead of just average.

2. Better Collaboration

One of the main foundations of a team is the ability to communicate honestly and effectively; this cannot happen without trust. It starts with us as leaders trusting our employees to do the right thing and that they can either do the job or learn how to.

We as humans tend to trust the people who trust us; it’s a reciprocal relationship built on mutual benefits.

3. Increased Innovation

Since trust is so deeply connected to psychological safety, there’s no wonder that team members who feel like they won’t be attacked when they present a new idea are also more likely to do out-of-the-box thinking and challenge the status quo.

Innovation comes from the willingness to take risks, and if we do not let our people know that they are encouraged to take risks, they will not be punished; then, they will most likely hinder themselves from presenting a new idea due to fear.

4. Better Work-Life Balance

Once you build a deep sense of trust in your team, you will also be able to give them more freedom and the ability to work in the best way that suits them.

This, for example, allows people to work remotely with less supervision and enables them to deal with situations arriving in their household much more efficiently.

5. Increased Productivity

An increase in productivity usually stems from intra-team trust; once you start believing in your team that even though they might work differently than you do, they can reach results anyway.

The increase in productivity usually comes from a lesser need to spend time on micro-managing, HR-related tasks, and people being incentivized to produce their own procedures so that they can work the most effectively.

6. Cost Savings

When you start trusting your employees, you also build relationships with them. This relationship becomes almost like an invisible boundary that employees will not cross; you have created a reason for them not to cheat, steal, or waste time.

Most people will refrain from stealing, but even those who are inclined to steal will refrain from stealing from their friends. So building a relationship with you can have cost-saving benefits that are hard to predict.

7. Improved Decision Making

Organizational decision-making will vastly improve if people feel like they own a task and treat it like something they care about. They will now feel the responsibility to make the best decisions possible since the outcome of their “prodigy” will be a representation of themselves.

8. Higher Customer Satisfaction

This is one of the more hidden benefits of a trusting work culture; when people feel like they are trusted, they are, of course, much more likely to be engaged with work. Engaged employees have higher job satisfaction and are generally happier overall. This directly translates into positive customer interaction.

We have all been to coffee houses where the staff couldn’t care whether or not we got our coffee within the next thirty minutes. But we have also been to places where the service is fantastic, and we feel like they really care.

9. Honest Work Culture

When you show that you trust your people and they sense that you’re being honest, they will start to offer you the reality of what is happening on your team and your company. Your team will stop censoring information that they think will negatively impact them.

You wouldn’t tell someone you don’t trust something they might use to hurt you, would you? This means people will hide mistakes unless they can trust you to tell you what happened without being unfairly punished.

10. Loyal Workforce

Once you have established an honest work culture where people understand that you want not only what is best for the company but what is best for them, then you will have reached one of the most vital goals of a team leader, loyalty.

Loyalty is much more important than honesty, cares about honesty, what we care about is that people are loyal.

What would you rather have, someone who does horrible things to you but is honest enough to tell you or someone you know always wants the best for you but sometimes might not give you the complete truth?

Here are some indicators that you are practicing dishonest leadership.

11. Saves Time

All in all, trusting your employees is a great way to save time; trust means you can delegate tasks without overlooking every step. It also allows us as team leaders to focus on our roles of removing obstacles so that the team can move at maximum speed toward the goal.

How to Deal With Employees Who Think They Are the Boss?

Written by Gabriel "Gabo" von Knorring in Employees

How to Deal With Employees Who Think They Are the Boss

Most of us have worked with people who seem to think that they are the boss, they will tell you what to do and how to do it, and they will do it in an authoritarian manner instead of a friendly one. They annoy us, and we just want them to shut up. So what do we do with employees who think they are the boss?

To deal with employees who think they are the boss, you should follow these three principles: direct action, focus on performance, and command and control structure. This will ensure that the issues are addressed, and conflicts are minimized.

This topic is personal, and you can relate to the stories I will tell, so today, I want to share some ideas and stories that will help you deal with bossy employees.

The Biggest Mistake When Dealing With a Bossy Employee

The biggest mistake when dealing with a bossy employee
The biggest mistake when dealing with a bossy employee

There is one rule that I have yet to be able to deny its truthfulness; the rule is that we get what we accept in life. This means that whatever we decide to love in our lives will continue; we’ll continue to exist. And the things we do not permit will most likely stop living.

When dealing with a bossy employee, the biggest mistake I see is that people know this behavior is unacceptable but do nothing about it. You have probably heard the advice, “Go along to get along,” but I think this is some BS advice.

If you go along with this type of behavior, it is an implicit acceptance and a way to reinforce that behavior, and if there is one thing that psychology has taught me, it is that you will get more of whatever it is that you promote.

This is the power of feedback; if we tell people that we appreciate something they do, they will do more of that, and if we tell them we don’t enjoy something, they will most likely do less. This is not only good leadership, but it is also good friendship.

Consequences of Bossy Employees

Consequences of bossy employees
Consequences of bossy employees

When we allow employees to be a boss, we are at the same time stripping the legit leader from their role of making decisions and taking responsibility. It usually leads to decreased productivity, morale, employee conflict, and sometimes even legal issues.

Often, the increase in productivity comes from the employee making decisions that are not in line with the leader; this means that tasks will usually have to be redone or scrapped entirely.

A few things annoy people as much as wasting their time; this is why redoing tasks or finishing unnecessary functions due to an employee’s initiative will most likely lead to conflict among employees.

It can be an even bigger problem if the decisions made by the employee are against rules and regulations or break safety standards.

3 Principles to Follow When Dealing With Bossy Employees

3 principles to follow when dealing with bossy employees
3 principles to follow when dealing with bossy employees

Since every employee and situation is unique, I prefer principles instead of a step-by-step approach. These principles will help you make correct decisions in dealing with a situation like this before it becomes toxic and detrimental to your team.

1. Direct Action

Direct action
Direct action

As we have discussed above, the most important thing is to take action and not accept this behavior. The key here is to be as specific as possible, even mentioning that you think they behave as mini boss and you are still determining whether or not that is their role.

A great way to approach this is by assuming that he or she is actually on your side trying to help you, and for her to assist you even better, there are a few things you need to discuss.

You want to avoid creating conflict and an offensive discussion; this will most likely not lead to a beneficial outcome; instead, enter the situation and debate thinking that you have something to learn from this person.

After all, who knows? Maybe you’re wrong.

2. Focus on Team Performance

Focus on team performance
Focus on team performance

When dealing with individuals, speaking about your experiences and feelings about being treated in a certain way is good. But it is slightly different when talking about bossy people; they often refer to performance or other business indicators as reasoning for their actions.

Instead of doing the traditional feedback way of telling them how you feel and how their actions impact you, you can focus on how their actions affect the team’s performance. After all, they are trying to be the boss, So they probably strive for higher performance.

3. Clarify the Command and Control Structure

Clarify the command and control structure

In the military, the command and control structure looks like this, orders are given from commanders to subordinates, and reports are given from assistants to commanders.

Everything else is recommendations that the commander should implicitly or explicitly approve; this means that a random employee/soldier cannot give orders to the same ranked peer. On the other hand, he or she can recommend another soldier that something needs to be done, But that requires approval from the commander.

This is often lacking in the civilian world; some feel it needs to be more relaxed, which I think it is. With this type of leadership, it is not easy for employees to say, that’s a good idea. I’ll run that by my boss and see if we should do that.

This way of communicating with bossy employees is incredibly effective since it stops their attempt to corrupt the company’s authority.

3 principles to follow when dealing with bossy employees
3 principles to follow when dealing with bossy employees
In this episode I guide you on how to make your team care as much as you do, perfect way to convert those stubborn “know it all” into teammates!

Strange Reasons Why Some Companies Keep Bad Managers!

Written by Gabriel "Gabo" von Knorring in Leadership Skills

6 Reasons why some companies retain bad managers

Working with bad managers is the main reason people quit their jobs, and if you are like me, you have encountered one during your work life. My worst manager, by far, was the commanding officer of a Swedish contingent serving in North Africa. So why didn’t he get fired?

The main reasons companies keep bad managers include nepotism, the Peter principle, and a genuine will to develop bad managers into good leaders with training. 

In this article, I will draw from my own experiences in the military and some civilian experiences from the corporate world. I will talk about the practical reasons and the emotional and relational perspectives on why we keep having to deal with poor leadership from incompetent managers.

9 reasons why some companies keep bad managers
9 reasons why some companies keep bad managers

Lack of Documentation

Sometimes, even though management wants to get rid of a poor manager, it isn’t possible due to not having the documentation to back the case up. In this time of transparency and worker rights, a company cannot just fire someone because they want to, as this might get them into serious legal problems.

Fear of Legal Action

With the recent year’s explosion of racial and gender tension, it is no surprise that employers are hesitant to fire people; keeping a lousy manager on the team might be a better option than risking being publicly accused of racism or sexism, whether or not it’s true.

Tolerance for Poor Performance

Companies have a tolerance for poor performance, especially in the short-term perspective. This is not necessarily bad because we all have times in our lives when we are not performing at our peak or when we have problems at home that impact our work life.

It is also the case that the Prices law tells us that 10% of the workforce does most of the work, which means if we judge people by comparison, we will always have low performers no matter how we recruit or train.

Thinking It Is Cheaper

Some companies might think they don’t have the money to pay for adequate training for their managers and that they will deal with it in the future. This turns into a circular egg and hen problem where poor leadership leads to less money, which leads to not investing in better leadership, leading to even worse.

The Peter Principle

Some are promoted to managerial positions because they are good at their job, not of leadership skills.
Some are promoted to managerial positions because they are good at their job, not of leadership skills.

Outside of the military, this is the most common way to promote people as far as I understand today’s workplace. The Peter principle says that employees get promoted to a managerial position because they are good at their job, not because they were good and potentially great leaders.

This often leads to a mismatch between their current skills and what they need to know to do an excellent job as a leader.

We also see staff promoted/moved into management positions as a reward for doing their job well. Which is fine in and of itself, but did they want the management role? Are they prepared for what being a manager and potentially a leader requires? The skills are not 100% the same and need practice to be successful.

Joe Francis

Nepotism

Some companies keep poorly performing managers due to influence and favors.
A poorly performing manager is more likely to be kept on the job if he or she is family rather than an external hire.

Nepotism is the process by which people of great influence favor friends and relatives rather than factors of merit. For example, in a family-run business, a poorly performing manager is more likely to be kept on the job if he or she is family rather than an external hire.

In the case of my commander in the Swedish armed forces, it turned out that he was in the same officer class and a really good friend to the previous unit commanders. It was highly likely that this guy was not promoted due to his leadership skill set (which was flawed with lying and incompetence; he once threw an office chair at the door) but rather as a product of knowing the right people.

Perception of Loyalty

Managers who perform poorly but who are seen as loyal to upper management are likelier not to be fired since loyalty is often more highly valued than abstract leadership performance.

A Genuine Will to Develop Leaders

Willingness to help and develop others
Companies might keep a lousy manager on the team because they see potential in this individual.

Back in the military, we never got to choose the people who we were we worked with. You got assigned people to your team, and you will have to work on that relationship and somehow make the team come together and perform.

This put us in a situation where we had no option but to develop and improve every team member continuously. This is not necessarily bad since it forces you to deal with issues that you otherwise would have blamed on the individual and, therefore, would have concluded that he or she needs to get fired.

Companies might keep a lousy manager on the team because they see potential in this individual and believe everyone should have a chance to develop. But before they reach a level of proficiency, they will most likely perform poorly; that is the stage where the leader is in right now.

I genuinely think this is an excellent way of developing leaders and team members, but one must consider when to draw the line when there aren’t enough resources to justify further training.

Some Bad Managers Are Great Marketers

Managers weak in leadership but strong in marketing can impress the CEO and decision-makers.
Managers who are weak in leadership but strong in marketing can impress the CEO and decision-makers.

Poor managers with excellent marketing skills can put themselves in a bright light before the CEO and decision-makers. Most of us have met people like this; they are usually skilled at making a first impression and excel at creating short-lasting friendships.

Poor managers with excellent marketing skills can put themselves in a bright light before the CEO and decision-makers.

These are usually the leaders we initially appreciate and respect but later turn out to be deceiving and superficial. They are the people we consider managers rather than leaders.

Such was the case with the commander in Africa; he was appreciated by the people who had never met him more than once or had a discussion in which he did not agree with you. In that situation, he would become hostile and unable to listen to feedback. But when presenting himself during speeches or VIP visits, he appeared to have great leadership traits.

Final Thoughts

The most significant takeaway from today, I think, should be to avoid manifesting the destructive behaviors on this list. We want to be influential leaders who care for our people, the mission, and ourselves.

Talk to a Female Employee About Body Odor, Without Conflict?     

Written by Gabriel "Gabo" von Knorring in Employees

Body odor is a sensitive topic, especially in the workplace. It is something very personal, and a lot of people can understandably feel awkward, embarrassed, and even upset if this topic is broached. It doesn’t get any trickier when a female employee is involved since you have to employ the same level of tact, thoughtfulness, and delicacy to find solutions to the dilemma. 

Talk to a female employee about body odor by being discreet, diplomatic, and considerate about her emotions. Discuss matters behind closed doors, identify possible culprits, and help her find solutions to this dilemma. To lighten the mood, show her a bit of your funny side.

In this article, we will discuss ways you can tell a female employee she has body odor without making her feel too embarrassed, defensive, or appalled. I will give tips on how you can deal with this in the most discreet ways possible and offer lines you can use to help her realize you’re willing to help her. We will also tap on the usual culprits of body odor, so if you can’t wait to help her get on her way to a rosier future, let’s start!

How To Talk to a Female Employee About Body Odor

You can talk to a female employee about body odor by being discreet and sensitive about the issue. Discuss matters in private and let her know that you’re eager to help — you can even ingest some humor to diffuse tension. Then, offer to assist her in finding solutions to this sticky situation. 

1. Do It Behind Closed Doors

Body odor is a highly sensitive topic, especially since it is closely linked to hygiene. It would be understandable if your female employee would feel embarrassed or angry if anybody told her she has body odor because of poor hygiene. However, if you’re in a predicament where it has become absolutely necessary to do something about it, it’s best to tackle this issue privately.  

Invite your female employee to a private discussion in your office or in a conference room at work. It should be a closed-door encounter so there would be no chance of anyone eavesdropping or barging in in the middle of your conversation and making your female employee feel even more upset. 

You should pick a situation when you believe your employee will be as open and accepting of criticisms as possible. If she already has a lot of struggles going on, either at home or work, then it’s probably best to postpone this discussion.

Be direct with your approach. Tell her early on that you would like to discuss a delicate issue with her. However, clearly state that, although it might make her feel uncomfortable, it isn’t something she should be worried about. Effectively leading a team means you must be able to handle various situations diplomatically, even the most tricky ones.

Here are some lines you might want to use:

  • “I’d like to quickly talk to you about a sensitive topic. It isn’t something you should worry about since it doesn’t have anything to do with your work performance. Are you free later before noon?”
  • “Would you step into my office, please? We need to briefly talk about a tricky situation here in the workplace, and I’d like to know about your take on it.”

2. Be on Her Side

Telling your female employee that she has body odor might take her completely by surprise. Remember that there is a possibility that she’s completely unaware of her smell, and this is the first time that anybody will discuss such a delicate issue with her. The key is to always be tactful and show empathy. 

Let her know and feel that you aren’t attacking her. In fact, you are on her side and are eager to help her work toward effectively addressing this issue. Managing a team of diverse individuals is challenging, and one way to be effective as a leader is to know how to tailor-fit your approach to different personalities and situations. 

Have a box of tissues handy since there’s a chance she’ll feel humiliated and cry. A lot of people shed tears when they experience strong emotions. Let her know it’s okay and give her time to process the situation and compose herself.

Here are some ways you can help diffuse the tension and make her feel better:

  • “I’m sorry that you’re upset, and I completely understand why you’re feeling that way.”
  • “Let’s figure out together how to get through this. Would you like me to help you?”
  • “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I think it’s best that you hear this issue from me rather than from anybody else here at work.”

3. Get Down to the Bottom of It

After you’ve told a female employee about her unpleasant odor, it might help make her feel more at ease if you tackle the matter as professionally and impersonally as you can. Treat it like how you would any sensitive topic at work. Aim for results rather than dwell on the issue.

Uncover possible reasons why she has body odor. It could be due to a variety of factors, and you must help her pinpoint the culprits so you can help her figure out how to eliminate the problem completely. 

Here are some of the most common reasons why people have body odor:

Hygiene 

Apocrine sweat glands, found in the human body’s hairier regions (such as the scalp, armpits, and genital area), are the main culprits of body odor. When these areas aren’t kept dry and clean, microbes thrive, and an unpleasant odor is apt to develop.

Health Issues

Certain medical conditions, and the supplements or medications being taken for them, can affect how a person smells. Here are some of the more common health issues that can affect the scent of a person’s sweat:

  • Diabetes
  • Gout
  • Hyperhidrosis
  • Hyperthyroidism
  • Kidney disease
  • Liver disease
  • Infectious diseases
  • Obesity
  • Anxiety
  • Hormonal fluctuations
  • Menopause

Diet

Foods high in sulfur can significantly affect how your body smells. There are also certain components in some of the food and drinks we regularly consume that may trigger body odor. Here are some foods (and drinks) you might suggest that your female employee should avoid to help get rid of her body odor:

  • Garlic
  • Onions
  • Broccoli
  • Cauliflower
  • Cabbage
  • Red meat
  • Spices
  • Hot sauce
  • Alcohol
  • Coffee

4. Fall Back on Humor 

Depending on your relationship with your female employee and her personality, you might want to inject some humor into this sensitive situation. This might help dampen the blow when you reveal to her that she has body odor. 

Give her time to process the information you told her, then assure her that you’re eager to help find solutions to her problem. As they say, laughter is the best medicine, and it can certainly help mend a bruised ego.

Here are some lines you can work with:

  • “Would you like me to help you sniff for solutions to this dilemma?”
  • “I just caught a whiff of (sniff, sniff) … coffee brewing in the pantry. I’ll get us both a cup, and we can talk about this issue some more.”

Key Takeaways

Telling your female employee, she has body odor is extremely perplexing and embarrassing. However, it is crucial to keep the spotlight on her and make the experience a lot more tolerable and agreeable. Be sensitive and empathetic, yet adamant in helping her find solutions to this dilemma. 

Never call out your female employee in public, and don’t make a mockery out of it. Talk to her in private and allow her to express initial emotions, whether it be anger, embarrassment, or shock. Tell her you’re on her side and help her uncover ways to get out of this delicate predicament.

How To Deal With Rude and Toxic Female Coworkers?

Written by Gabriel "Gabo" von Knorring in Employees

Rude and toxic female coworkers can be tricky to handle. They might make you feel disrespected, overlooked, or insignificant, but the truth is, their bad attitude backfires on them. It makes them look unprofessional, incompetent, and petty. 

You can deal with rude and toxic female coworkers by repaying bad behavior with kindness, empathy, and professionalism. Call her out and try to uncover the reasons beyond her attitude toward you. Meanwhile, gather strong evidence you can use later on if you decide to escalate matters to management. 

In this article, we will talk about ways you can deal with a rude and toxic female coworker without having to escalate matters into a full-blown conflict, including ignoring her disagreeable behavior, surrounding yourself with friends, and reciprocating her unpleasantness with kindness and empathy. I will also give tips on how best to directly approach your coworker, and if matters start becoming overwhelming, how to get help from your leaders. Let’s start!

How Do You Deal With Rude Female Coworkers?

Deal with a rude female coworker by reciprocating her disagreeable behavior with kindness. Try befriending her or inviting her to a private conversation where you can uncover relevant details about each other. However, as a final resort, report her to management and back your story with evidence. 

Here are some tips:

1. Take It With a Grain of Salt

Keep in mind that, sometimes, people’s disagreeable behaviors aren’t aimed directly at you. It’s not personal and might even be their general way of interacting with their peers. Your female coworker’s unpleasant behavior can also be a result of the circumstances she’s in, so it can be an isolated case. 

Other times, female coworkers become toxic and rude when they’re trying to make their way to the top. Women often believe they have a more challenging time working their way up the corporate ladder due to gender-related issues. Some feel that it’s necessary to undermine their peers just to get a leg up.

Giving no credence to a female coworker’s rudeness and toxicity can save you a lot of trouble. Simply brush it off as a non-issue and, hopefully, the matter will soon die down. Often, when toxic individuals gain no reaction from others, they feel foolish and embarrassed, and this might stop them from further antagonizing you. 

Just make sure this doesn’t take a too big toll on your well-being; brushing it off is great, but only if you are truly able to.

2. Take the High Road

Instead of matching your coworker’s toxicity and rudeness, respond with kindness and empathy. She will most likely be taken aback and you will emerge as a professional, competent individual who isn’t perturbed by pettiness. You’ll end up earning the respect of your whole team. 

Moreover, such a reaction can help you uncover the reasons behind her behavior. Maybe she’s going through a rough patch in her personal life or maybe she’s simply overwhelmed at work. Whatever the case may be, uncovering the reasons behind her unpleasant behavior may help you understand her actions better. It may even earn you a new friend at the end. 

Here are some ways you can respond:

  • Invite her to join you for lunch. This can provide you both an opportunity to get to know each other better. It’s a great way to eliminate any false assumptions and inaccurate conjectures you may have about each other. 
  • Ask her for advice about a certain issue at work. This may take her completely by surprise, but it’s a great way to make her take down their defenses. 
  • Buy her coffee. You can never go wrong with a good ol’ cup of joe. 

3. Distance Yourself With Negativity

Keep your rude and toxic female coworker at arm’s length by surrounding yourself with the most positive and engaging people in the workplace. Having friends for support can certainly make the circumstances more tolerable. They can even help diffuse the situation by discouraging your female coworker from targeting you. Nobody wants to prey on someone who has friends who always have their back. 

Make sure you and your friends don’t antagonize your rude coworker. Do not taunt or provoke her. Simply go about your daily activities at work, and when she sees that she’s not making an impact, she’ll soon realize you’re not worth the trouble and stop targeting you. 

4. Don’t Add Fuel to the Fire

Whatever you do, don’t retaliate by giving her a dose of her own medicine. You will only be fanning the flames of hostility, and the situation can escalate into a conflict that can quickly spiral out of control. 

Do not gossip about her either. This only feeds her ego and will make her think she’s making a significant impact on you. Talking about your rude female coworker behind her back can also backfire. It will make you look petty, vengeful, and unprofessional, and these are traits you would never want to be known for in the workplace. 

If you need to vent and air out your side to diffuse some of the tension, talk to a discreet coworker and make sure any information you share won’t leak out to others. You can also turn to a family member or friend outside the workplace who will listen objectively to your story. They can even contribute to improving your circumstances by giving you sound advice based on the impartial perspective of a third party.

If you need to vent and air out your side to diffuse some of the tension, talk to a discreet coworker and make sure any information you share won’t leak out to others.

5. Call Her Out

Being straightforward with your rude female coworker might be the secret formula to nipping a potentially harmful situation in the bud. Engage her in a one-on-one conversation to let her know you don’t appreciate and won’t stand for such rudeness and toxicity. Don’t be too confrontational about it, but be firm, specific, and direct. 

Here are some lines you might want to use: 

  • “I don’t appreciate being talked about behind my back. Please treat me with more respect and professionalism, especially since we both work in a reputable organization.” 
  • “Is there a reason why you’re being hostile toward me?”
  • “Have I done something — which I may not be fully aware of — that made you dislike me this much?”
  • “I get confused when you ignore me during meetings. Is there a reason why you’re treating me this way?”
  • “I feel disrespected when I hear your remarks about me from our teammates. If you have issues with me, I would appreciate it if you talked to me about them rather than talking about me behind my back.”

6. Use a Methodical Approach 

Keep everything documented. Solid pieces of evidence will come in handy in case you need to escalate the matter later on. Once things start getting nasty (not before), keep track of your conversations with your rude female coworker by writing down the dates and details of particularly unpleasant dialogues. Save a copy of email exchanges and screenshot text conversations.

When push comes to shove, and you’ve done everything you can to diffuse the tension but things have already spiraled beyond your control, your last resort might be to formally call out your female coworker’s bad behavior and mistreatment of you. Escalate the matter to your leaders in the workplace and provide all the evidence you’ve gathered. You can also ask some of your coworkers to stand in as witnesses to corroborate your claims. 

I want to make this very clear; before you report someone to upper management, you must take the time to speak with the individual in question. Nobody wants a culture where people go behind each other backs.

Key Takeaways

Dealing with rude and toxic female colleagues can be tricky, but all it takes is consistency, professionalism, and a high level of self-respect to let them know you don’t appreciate, and will never stand for such unfair and needless treatment. 

Let her know early on so you can nip the issue in the bud. You can also try to befriend her because there’s a chance there are merely inaccurate assumptions getting in the way. As a last resort, you can always escalate the matter to higher management, but be sure to back your claims with strong evidence and reliable witnesses. 

Passive vs. Assertive Behaviour: Communication & Strengths   

Written by Gabriel "Gabo" von Knorring in Leadership Skills

Passive vs. Assertive Behaviour Communication & Strengths   

Passiveness and assertiveness are two types of behaviors commonly seen around the workplace. They have contrasting principles, but both have their advantages and downsides. The key is learning how to harness their strengths and downplay their weaknesses so that the business’s interests are not compromised.

The disinclination characterizes passiveness to speak out and stir up conflicts in the team. Alternatively, assertiveness is distinguished by the eagerness to contribute and participate in all team affairs. Passiveness may be seen as apathy, while assertiveness may be a leadership trait. 

This article tackles the differences between passive and assertive types of behavior in the workplace, particularly the attributes of each style and how each deals with communicating with others in the organization. We will also highlight the strengths and weaknesses of each behavior type and how these can affect the team’s synergy and the organization’s interests. Let’s start!

Why is language important in small team leadership?

Key Differences Between Passive and Assertive Behavior 

Two types of behavior as different as night and day
Two types of behavior as different as night and day.

Passiveness and assertiveness in the workplace are two types of behavior as different as night and day. You can quickly tell them apart, and although one might seem more dominant than the other when taken at face value, they each have advantages and downsides. The key is determining which one works best for you, depending on your personality and the circumstances you find yourself in.

Let’s talk about each point in detail:

Communication Style

People who are introverted and shy typically adopt passive behaviors in the workplace. They don’t like being in the spotlight, so they rarely voice their thoughts, feelings, and ideas (a.k.a. passive communication). If they must, they speak softly and get right to the point so they can stop being at the center of attention as soon as possible. Passive people also dislike maintaining eye contact and tend to fidget when speaking, especially in groups. 

On the other hand, outgoing people usually adopt assertive behaviors and typically outshine their peers. They like speaking up and don’t mind, even when the spotlight is constantly on them. They look people in the eye when they talk, use well-modulated voices, and gesture confidently.

Team Interaction

Active communicators prefer to avoid engaging with their team members. They would much rather take a backseat during discussions and project implementations and let others lead. They don’t enjoy participating in debates, so they agree with whatever anyone suggests, even if it contrasts with their beliefs and ideas.

Passiveness is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people might appreciate their apparent easy-going personality, but others might need more participation and input. Managing them can be tricky, too, since they only really expose a little about their thoughts, ideas, and plans for the future. 

It took me a year to go beyond being frustrated by one of my teammates because he wouldn’t speak up when I thought it was necessary. With some retrospect and humility, I now question who I am to decide when others should or shouldn’t speak up. He spoke when he felt he had value to add; more people should be like that!

On the contrary, assertive communicators love participating and contributing to all team matters. They share input, debate with their teammates, and strive to develop rapport and healthy business relationships with their leaders and peers. They like taking the lead and have no qualms about spearheading projects.

Assertiveness is also quite tricky since only some people react positively to it. Some might appreciate the candidness and enthusiasm, while others might feel unnerved or intimidated by the boldness and vigor. Managing assertive communicators can be challenging because their natural leadership tendencies may sometimes clash with or supersede their leader’s. However, their transparency makes it easier to lead them toward set goals.

Difference of passiveness and assertiveness in the workplaceDescription
Communication StylePeople who are introverted and shy typically adopt passive behaviors in the workplace. They don’t like being in the spotlight, so they rarely voice their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. On the other hand, outgoing people usually adopt assertive behaviors and typically outshine their peers. They like speaking up and don’t mind, even when the spotlight is constantly on them.
Team InteractionActive communicators prefer to avoid engaging with their team members. They would much rather take a backseat during discussions and project implementations and let others lead. On the other hand, some might appreciate the candidness and enthusiasm, while others might feel unnerved or intimidated by the boldness and vigor.
Difference of passive and assertiveness in the workplace

Strengths and Faults of Passiveness and Assertiveness

Strengths and faults of both passive and assertive personalities
Strengths and faults of both passive and assertive personalities

In the workplace, people with different personalities work together to achieve goals collaboratively. They synergistically push the business forward toward growth and success. Whether you’re passive or assertive, each individual must do their share, and each personality type certainly plays an essential role.

Here are some of the strengths and faults of both passive and assertive personalities:

Strengths of passive and assertive personality
Strengths of a passive and assertive personality

Passive Personality

Passive behavior in the workplace often earns a bad rap, but when utilized appropriately, you can make it work to your advantage. Here are some of its strengths and faults:

Strengths

  • Avoids workplace conflicts. Since you rarely exert effort to oppose others, you help create a harmonious environment in the workplace. 
  • Enhances your likeability. Being passive can sometimes be seen as a peace-lover and being selfless. Some people appreciate these attributes and will generally view you as an amiable person. 

Faults

  • Tendency to be ignored. Since you barely speak out to let your thoughts be heard, your teammates might typically overlook you when delegating tasks or assigning roles. Your needs and wants may also be disregarded since you barely voice them out at all. 
  • Fosters ill feelings. Since you always have the tendency to be left out, you may soon start developing feelings of anger and resentment toward your teammates. 

Assertive Personality

Assertiveness can take you places, but you also need to learn how to harness it so it doesn’t become detrimental to your development and success. Here are some of its strengths and faults:

Strengths

  • Boosts self-esteem. Being able to share your thoughts readily does wonders for your confidence. You realize you’re a valued team member when you feel seen and heard. 
  • It helps earn the respect of your team. Self-assured individuals have an easier time gaining other people’s esteem and approval. Assertiveness allows you to speak frankly, truthfully, and respectfully toward your leaders and teammates. 
  • It helps release stress. Assertiveness enables you to vent your emotions, both positive and negative ones. It also equips you with the courage to say no when you don’t want to take on more tasks because there’s a lot on your plate.
  • Gives a sense of empowerment. Since you’re always keen on voicing your thoughts and people always listen to what you have to say, you gain a certain level of control over what goes on in the workplace. 
  • Creates job satisfaction. Being valued by your team makes you feel happier about your job. 

Faults

  • It may make you seem self-righteous and intimidating. If not correctly tamed, assertiveness can evolve into aggressiveness. You might soon be labeled as selfish and a bully when you’re too aggressive. 
  • May ostracize others. Your assertiveness may intimidate others and make them pull back into the shadows to let you always take the lead. 
  • It may foster animosity within the team. Others might start feeling resentful and envious of the attention you’re getting and might begin to see your assertiveness in a negative light. 
Faults of passive and assertive personality
Faults of passive and assertive personality

Here’s a video discussing why assertiveness at work is important. This also talks about why it is important to understand Passive, Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive, and Assertive behaviors because they are all essential to business and professional skills.

Understanding Assertiveness

Final Thoughts

Passiveness might have its strengths — it might make you seem a lot more amiable and allow you to steer clear of workplace drama — but when you fall deep into this habit, it can be detrimental to your career. Your disinclination to speak out and participate can make you feel neglected, overlooked, and unappreciated. 

Assertiveness has its strengths, too. It can empower and establish you as one of the team’s most valuable assets. However, if you’re not careful, it might spiral out of control and evolve into aggressiveness — a personality trait commonly shunned in the workplace.